58 Thoughts you had when attending your first Lutheran service

karajane92
Oct 9, 2015
4 min read

When coming from your Happy Clappy full production rock concert motivational church, attending a Lutheran Service can be hard to keep up with.

1. Oh this is a beautiful church, how old is this church?

2. Oh built in 1960? they were still building them like this then?

3. My 1960's church building looked like it belonged in the Jetsens

4. and it was full of Asbestos

5. What is that noise? It is loud and whaaa?

6. An Organ?! Whoa no no no I am not going to Grandma's church! Where have you

brought me?

7. You said this would be fun I feel BETRAYED

8. I can't remember the last time I sat in a pew.

9. This isn't soft, this will be a long service

10. What is that little boy wearing? Why is he in a robe? This looks catholic.

11. Wait, am I in an old Grandma's Catholic church?

12. I've been BETRAYED

13. yup Pastor's in a robe too.

14. Why do they where those things? it's 2015

15. I'm just going to watch the seconds tic by on my watch.

16. Wait why are the kids going up front, oh is he going to dismiss them? No talk to them, like a many sermon - CUTE!!

17. What are they going back to their seats, you make the kids sit through the grandma service? poor babies.

18. Oh we are standing now. People are saying things, how do they know to say that?

19. Is that what the bulletin is for? I thought that was for taking notes during the sermon.

20. Man I just realized how substantial this bulletin is. It is like 12 pages long. What is in this thing

21. The. Entire. Service. We have to say ALL of that?

22. The Organ again! The grandma's have begun singing. But where are the words?

23. Do they just sing the same songs all the time so they have them memorized?

24. Oh you read your music? in a book? That is so old fashioned.

25. More chanting... yay... what is this? oh a confession

26. I actually like what this says, I do screw up all the time, like being talked into coming here.

27. But really, I want to post this on my facebook page. #sinners #savedbygrace

28. ok that was chill, it would be pretty cool to do this every week.

29. This sitting down and standing up thing though, I keep sitting down at the wrong time - Embarrassing.

30. Man lot's of scripture today - he isn't going to preach on all of this, is he?

31. Maybe they are starting a new series. Like "Jesus in the Old Testament" or something

32. Wait so I know this because -- Sunday School, but you count the Gospels as different than the new testament? So Old Testament verse, New Testament verse, and then Gospel verse?

33. Look at you leaving no stone unturned. I like it.

34. But I don't see the connection between these passages. where is this going?

35. This will be fun, Alright Preacher man show me what you got.

36. He is reading his sermon. READING IT. not like glancing at notes, but straight up reading it word for word.

37. Hmmm this sermon isn't very different from other sermons I've heard. Like it is normal.

38. Nothing weird going on here folks, Happy to report this sweet little sermon is all about Jesus.

39. Kinda waiting for that life application moment

40. you know the "Keep praying hard and the blessings will flow' or " Take a hold of that Holy Spirit power and you tell your problems "There is not place for you in my temple""

41. Here I am sounding like a black preacher #onfire

41. He is just talking about grace and forgiveness, but for some reason it is so sweet and enduring and simple and I want to cry.

42. I forgot about all that stuff.

43. Ok back to standing now.

44. More chanting

45. The Nicene Creed.... I think I read about this in my AP Euro class in High school.

46. Or did I learn this in Awanas? Like forever ago?

47. And we pray. again. you guys pray a lot. like ALOT why?

48. Oh we pray for everything. help the earth, be with our leaders, julie who has cancer, that is nice. but this is taking forever. (ok 1.5 minutes but still)

49. More singing - while sitting down. what is this folder for? Attendance? I have to report my presence here?

50. that actually is an ingenious way to do some solid book keeping. ok

51. Ah cool you bring the offering up for a blessing, that is sweet.

52. Man everything about this service feels really formal. like almost Sacred

53. And we are standing again

54. You say the Lord's prayer every sunday too? that is kinda cool! I haven't said that since sunday school!

55. now you are singing again, but not a song, what is this? a monk chant? in melody? I don't hate this.

56. Communion time! alright but it isn't the first Sunday of the month? do you do this every Sunday? that cool.

57. Sweet! Real Wine!

58. No one here will call me a heathen for enjoying a beer!

59. Er I mean, I've never tasted alcohol.... heh

60. I feel like I've been blessed! I feel renewed, I feel clean.