Hour one of my Marriage and He is doing This.

karajane92
Oct 27, 2015
4 min read

10 days ago I got married to the man of my dreams.

I have been dreaming about getting married since I was a little little girl. This is what I have wanted for years.

Our ceremony was a traditional lutheran ceremony that old people loved and found refreshing and one of my peers (he claims accidently) called rigid. Ha just what a bride wants to hear about her once in a lifetime carefully planned out and personalized decleration of love ceremony.

Unfortunately most of the day is blur to me ( I didn't even drink anything!) and I am hoping like an injured person I regain memory as time goes on. My groom seems to have had a similar experience and we are really excited to see pictures to see if that helps get some time back - No one told me the whole day was going to feel like 1 hour!

But the focus of this post is going to be on what our pastor told us as we stood trying not to lock our knees and pass out.

I have to admit, I can't remember it all, but I do remember him saying more than once - Forgive and Forget. He said "A love and commitment that includes forgivesness is the key to a strong and healthy marriage. Being able to forgive and then forget is absolutely necessary in a marriage."

Our pastor then shared a story that I will never forget as it struck me and reminded me of how great God really is and how marriage is such a beautiful picture of that.

The story goes:

A young nun once claimed to have had a vision of Jesus. Her bishop decided to test her truthfulness and ordered that the next time she had a vision she should ask Christ what the bishop's primary sin had been before he became a bishop.

Some months later the nun returned and the bishop asked if she had asked Christ the question. The nun told him she had.

"And what did he say?" The bishop asked, hesitently.

"Christ said..." the nun paused a moment..."He said 'I don't remember.''"

Look I am going to be real with ya, I can be manipulative. I like keeping those little things tucked away for a rainy day when I need some leverage. What is incredibly unfair is that I have a husband who will do anything for me - within reason (albiet the definition of reason seems to be a moving target sometimes - see there I go again!)

But just hours after that little 7 minute sermon was given we are in our hotel room ready to go to sleep to catch our 6 am flight to our honeymoon and my groom is emptying his stomach of scotch in the bathroom (Thank you groomsmen for that). Perhaps this catches none of you by surprise, but we had promised to stay sober and as I mentioned, I kept my end of the bargin. (In hindsight I was so concerned with entertaining people, I forgot to take time to enjoy my reception, so maybe a couple shots wouldn't have hurt). But I am sitting in bed waiting for him to pull himself together thinking - How long do I get to hold this against him before I have to forgive and forget? 5 minutes? 1 week? 10 years?

Immidiately the reality of what marriage is hit me. I have promised to love this person and stand by their side until the day one of us dies. I have given him my heart and while I trust he will never leave me, it doesn't mean he will never hurt me. That was clear literally 1 hour after the reception ended. As I comtemplated the situation at hand I realized that I will hurt him too and it will take many conscious decisions to avoid that.

I think at somepoint in our dating relationship I realized that because I wrote a poem for him and planned to read it at the reception, however when he found out he did not want me to embarrass him so I opted to read it to him in person. I do believe I have used the phrasing at least once a day since we got married, so I am trying to take my own advice.

It is called, I love you anyway

It is when my middle is softer than I’d like.

When my hair is a complete mess.

Or I ask that stupid question, and then take a right turn when you clearly said “turn left.”

You whisper to me “I love you anyway”

When I complain about little things that are simple to fix,

or when I decide to be lazy for the day (or the whole week.)

You let me change my mind a million times.

As I drag you down the long, difficult road I take

to make a decision about what to wear or where to eat.

You whisper to me “I love you anyway”

You love me, with all patience.